A Woman’s Foolproof Guide to Mastering a Fake Orgasm
There are a lot of reasons a girl would want to fake an orgasm. Some are bad, while some are actually reasonable. The point being that a girl sometimes needs to push it to the non-existent limit because what else can she do?
The female orgasm is a complicated concept. It’s not as easy as hitting the right spot at the right time like most magazines promise. In order for a female to achieve a full orgasm, she needs to be completely and consistently turned on during the act.
Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done. Although every woman has more or less the same biological frame, there’s no surefire way to tell if one action would lead to a definite climax. Sometimes, you can’t even rely on anatomy at all.
Why do women fake orgasms?
When a man can’t satisfy a woman enough to give her an orgasm, she will either find a way to have it herself or just give up altogether. It’s sad, but a person can’t really work on it all night. You have to sleep at some point. Some people have work in the morning, you know? [Read: 22 more reasons women fake orgasms]
Aside from that, there are a lot of reasons why a woman may need to give an Oscar-worthy performance instead of trying to get the job done.
#1 They’re tired. This is one of the most obvious reasons. A while ago, women complained that men finished too quickly without giving them a heads up or leaving them a tiny bit of satisfaction from the deed. These days, men consider giving an orgasm as a necessary achievement. Some men will try their very best up to the point that the woman can’t take it anymore. They can either be lacking some lube or just plain exhausted.
#2 They realized that the sex was bad. You can’t know that the sex is going to be bad until after you’ve started. When that happens, a woman may need an escape strategy. If a man won’t stop until he “satisfies” you, there will be no end to that horribly awkward night. [Read: 9 bad sex signs that you may be ignoring right now!]
#3 They feel sorry for the guy. Some men are not mentally or physically equipped to give their partners an orgasm. It’s a fact of life and the sooner people accept that, the better their sex lives will be. Women, knowing how proud some men can be, will try to give them a parting gift of pornographic proportions just because they think it’s the considerate thing to do.
#4 They have an appointment. Oh, it’s true. A woman can become so busy that sex tends to become just an item on their schedule. When the deed is taking too long and the next meeting is in about twenty minutes, she will make an excuse and the perfect one will be a fake orgasm.
#5 Pity sex. This is a very bad idea on so many levels, but some women still allow themselves to be caught in these types of situations. Being too nice can make you end up in bed with a guy you don’t even like.
Is it really okay to fake an orgasm?
In my opinion, faking an orgasm should always be a last resort. Don’t consider it the first option when any of the scenarios above presents itself to you. Sex is an extremely enjoyable act that is done by two consenting adults. If it doesn’t work out that way, you and your partner have to acknowledge that something is missing.
When you find yourself failing to reach your climax, you just have to acknowledge that it isn’t happening, and then talk about it afterwards. So many relationships fail because of a lack of communication, especially when it comes to what happens in the bedroom. [Read: 14 ways to get your partner to open up and start talking about sex]
There’s no good reason why you should fake an orgasm, but it does pose as a tempting solution to ending sex immediately. The only valid reason why a woman can fake an orgasm is if she can’t see any other way out. If talking doesn’t help, she just has to get it over with so she can move on!
How do you fake an orgasm?
It’s not that easy to fake an orgasm. You have to be a really good actress or at least have the vocal range for it. If you don’t do it right, you’ll just end up embarrassing yourself and your partner. It’s not just about saying dirty words and moaning religious outbursts. Dispense with the “Oh my god” exclamations because some may find that offensive. Your body also has to show some evidence that you’re about to reach your peak.
Men are more knowledgeable about a woman’s reaction to sex these days. They’ve seen too many movies and are reading the same magazines you do. If they think you’re faking, they will feel hurt and humiliated. They may even resent you for it. So not only have you been dissatisfied, but you’ve also left a dent in his ego.
So, how can you prevent that from happening? Follow this step-by-step guide and you will be golden.
#1 Build your momentum. You can’t just scream “I’m coming!” out of the blue. A guy has to believe that you are having an orgasm and surprising him with it won’t be convincing enough.
#2 Time your moans to their thrusts. This is pretty funny when it goes wrong. Guys end up wondering why you’re moaning even when they’re not moving. So, make sure that you gasp and make noise only when it’s called for.
#3 Tell him you’re almost there. Not only does it turn them on, but it also makes them work faster. They will believe it because it’s only natural that you know when you are about to come.
#4 Roll your eyes back. Admittedly, you won’t be able to see him, but he will see you. This is one of the hallmark signs that a guy is getting a girl off.
#5 Increase the volume of your moans in increments. Slowly increase the level of your moans. Don’t start screaming like a mad woman. Make sure that he knows that he got you to that final stretch before yelling like a lottery winner. A few “Yes!” and “Oh gosh!” exclamations will do the trick. [Read: Need help adding some dirty talk to your moans?]
#6 Squeeze whatever you can grab onto. It could be his arms, his back or his butt. Any large surface area will do just as long as it seems like you’re losing control of your body.
#7 Stretch yourself out. Extend your legs or back and make a rigid arc, if possible. This denotes that you are about to reach orgasm within a few seconds.
#8 Flex everything. Hug him tightly, pull your legs in and curl your body. This is the start of your orgasm. Also flex your PC muscles just to assure him that yes, your orgasm has a physical manifestation down there, too.
#9 Fidget or twitch slowly, but continuously. You are now having an orgasm. You can stop screaming now and act as if you’re losing your breath.
#10 Slowly let yourself down on the bed or any surface available. Act like a cat that’s just finished drinking her milk. At this point, he’s either had an orgasm or was just waiting for you to finish so he can work on himself. Either way, you’re done for the night!
Once you’ve achieved this, do not attempt to repeat it. You should only fake an orgasm because it’s necessary. You should not use it to take advantage of your guy. Remember that faking an orgasm means that you validated your man’s perception of his prowess in bed, albeit in a deceitful way. He will always expect you to orgasm all the time because he thinks he’s done it before.
It’s inadvisable for you to keep doing this forever. Your man will find out at some point and that will not be good for your relationship. Faking an orgasm is the same as lying to your partner. They won’t thank you for it.
You should only fake an orgasm if you don’t plan on seeing that man ever again. If you do, you’ll end up with a bad sex life and a poor, clueless man who will never learn how to please you. [Read: Why it’s sometimes the guy’s fault that women fake it]
Follow these tips in order to give a mind-blowing performance that will get you out of any awkward sexual situation. Just make sure that you use it on someone who won’t ever find out about it.
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